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13 Ways To Tell If You Can You Fuck That Stripper?

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(warning: I'm drunk as fuck as I write this)

I know a guy who think strippers are basically the new prostitutes. Whenever he goes to a club he swears he can have sex with any girl there if he offers her two hundred dollars. He's actually told me multiple stories of fucking several popular Detroit strippers in the strip club for cash. Actually several guys have told me this before. 

 

  You can't fuck every stripper in the club. Some will some won't. Yeah, they do take their clothes off for cash and they're basically selling sex for money, however does this necessarily mean you can fuck them? After all, you still don't really know them and you should have respect for them as ladies right?  Okay fuck all that. Here's the answer, you can tell if you're able to fuck a particular stripper depending on how she acts. Here's a list.

The Stuck up stripper - Yep, they do exist. These are the stupid girls who are not grounded in reality and do not realize they are not Beyonce. You take your clothes off for money, so quit acting like you're the shit. You probably can still hit it because stuck up girls really love money.

The Begging Stripper - The ones who come sit at your table without being asked (usually the ugly ones). Tell her to get the fuck on, you're not paying her shit. Well unless you had enough to drink and said "fuck it why not." 

The Private Room Stripper - The girl who always suggest to go a more private area. Actually it's a good chance you can fuck these types. They're looking for more money and want privacy so you can hit it. 

The No Touch Stripper - Similar to the stuck up stripper, this stripper gives you a real lap dance, about 10 feet away from yo' ass and tells you not to touch her. Pay her, her ten or twenty dollars and tell her to get the fuck on after one dance. 

The Super Touchy Stripper - When giving lap dances she simulates various sexual acts as though y'all are fucking for real. These girls are iffy, she could be trying to get you to get more dances or maybe she wants to fuck you for real. Try your luck.

The Drunk Stripper - You probably can, but you might end up in prison if she's too drunk and pass out while fucking her. She'll wake up screaming and that's yo' ass

The Over the Hill Stripper - You know, that one stripper that should have quit about 10 years ago but is still at it? The real answer here is why would you want to fuck her?

The Stripper that gets Buck Naked when Lap Dancing - She's not suppose to do that, so maybe she likes you and your chances are great, offer her money and see what happens. 

The Fat Stripper - (see 'the over the hill stripper')

The Stripper with no ass or tits- (see 'the fat stripper')

The New Stripper - Not the first day at least, don't even try it. She still thinks strip clubs actually have rules.

The Porn Star Stripper - The girl who strips and does porn, the answer is yes, you just need to know the price. 

The White Stripper - You actually got a better chance of getting head. Offer her 100.

 So there you have it, knowledge is half the battle. Just look for the stripper type and you'll automatically know if you can or can't. If you actually take this advice come back and comment on this thread, lets me know how badly you got your ass kicked after you asked to fuck her lol. I told you I was fucking drunk.

 

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